gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
The pee I just pissed was about 7% better than the one at your house. But both are pretty far up there.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
While strippers were eating ones out of my boobs, several sources claimed trump shared classified info with the russians. We should get hammered on Mondays more often, bitch.
She left a cookie cake on my porch, and the frosting reads "I'm sorry". She left me an I'm-sorry-for-punching-you-in-the-face cake.
Randomize
