I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I'm quite proud of this turning point from one night stands to giving some guy a BJ to fix my car for free.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
He autographed my vag. This fuck just got authentic.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
I'm experimenting with sincerity
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
I think every girl deserves a pregnancy scare. Because then it just feels like such a priviledge to be bleeding out of the vagina.
I legit just did a jig towards my box of tampons.
Randomize
