Pants 0. Shit 1.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Well on the plus side I have started adding benefiber to my bottle of wine
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
