I think I am morally bankrupt
i just peed in a port a potty and wiped with my credit card statement. fuck yeah!
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
Just walked by a group of guys calling out walks of shame with a mega phone from their front porch.
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
The hat, the beard, the hard posing - like who does he think he is?
A bag of dicks
That's dating life
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
What was the name of that sleazy asshole I'm not allowed to sleep with?
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
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