i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
You supply the liquor and I'll "accidently" forget my bathing suit.
Deal!
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
No. Not going out tonight. No. It's Tuesday. Xanax and Full House Tuesday.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
SHE POOPED THE CONDOM WHOLE
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
