That cute girl I hooked up with last night clawed my back to hell and gave me a hickey. I look like a white trash warewolf victim
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
Bring fortys. we have the duct tape. its onnn mothafuckaaaa
Men are not even allowed to look at you without a condom on.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
Randomize
