i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
Why is the garage door in the middle of the street?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
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