Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
What is she getting? Last time we talked her behavior was conducive to getting a tramp stamp on her face.
All I want is a guy who will love me and occasionally shave my balls.
Totally forgot we howled at the full moon last night... It's safe to say Tuesday Boozeday is my new favorite day of the week
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
Randomize
