When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
she called me screaming that i shouldn't ignore her phone calls, because she's not trying to get me to hang out with her and she doesn't want to be my girlfriend, she just wants sex.
what did you do?
i asked her out. that's so hot.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
So my professor just changed my Final to 7:45am on May 6th. Shouldn't a Spanish professor understand the implications of Cinco de Mayo???
I drank mimosas and played bocce ball in the middle of finals week...now i know how Comm majors feel all the time.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
You took acid last night and I’m up early to go to the grand opening of a new TJMaxx by my house. We couldn’t be more perfect.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
