I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Beer bonged 7 shots of Jameson. I title this night short stories with tragic endings.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Wait, whatever happened to locking our vaginas in closets?
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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