Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
I can't find the remote or the Doritos. Someone call 911. S.O.S. I sent this in Braille.
Vodka and cigarettes aside, my body is a temple.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
That moment when you sit down to shit and someone is watching porn on the other side of the wall.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
Randomize
