Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
thats the sluttiest christmas spirit ever.
At the airport and im So hungover. Think anyone will help if I put a note on me reading "flying to Boston, please wake me as we board" and then passing back out?
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Will you please bring your dog over today? Apparently I was drunkenly cooking last night. There's food everywhere. I'm too hungover to clean.
It's a good cause. For your vagina.
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
