I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured out that he lasts longer when I rap during sex. He made it all the way through "Love the Way you Lie"
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
Randomize