Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
