The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
There are 3 guys sitting in the elevator in lawn chairs wearing sunglasses and holding beers. the hallway rugs are stuffed in a trash can. i've never been so glad to be sober.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I literally just woke up in a dog bed, in a bathtub in someone else's house...and I'm not wearing pants
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
Randomize
