This bar receipt from last night makes no sense
You were wasted and got mad that it was too high so you subtracted 50 bucks in the tip line from the total
I wish that would've worked
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
I just had a dream where Bob Saget recognized me from when I hung out with him in a dream I had months ago.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
If there's anything my liberal arts education has taught me, it's belligerence.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
How do I word.. " hey, I need you to fuck me really hard and see if you or I can feel my birth control. No worries, this is just an experiment." In a nice way without them feeling used.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize