My ? Is...... Would it be sweet or creepy to take a girl on a first date to chigago?
creepy.
you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
I found the other part of your tooth if you want to put it under your pillow
I'm hoping you can explain why I woke up with what I believe is pumpkin pie all over my body
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
No no, there's drunk and then there's 'spooning with lawn gnomes' drunk.
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Tell me why I woke up with your dads construction shirt on, nothing else, and had jelly donuts with a note from a girl named cathryn that said "we had a kinky night with peanut butter". p.s. Im by the layin by the lawnmower
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
