Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
hey I'm just gonna fall asleep in the bathroom at the library call me when you're done with class
i just went to use the bathroom this morning and I couldn't because there was someone puking in every stall. i'm going to miss the dorms this summer
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
btw he is cheating on one twin with the other. the main woman in his life has a mullet. I defiantly have either the coolest or weirdest uncle ever
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
