I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
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Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
don't worry dude i have your phone, text me when youre gonna come get it
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