My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
There's weed in my toothpaste. Explain.
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
Randomize
