I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
he wants to bone in the snuggie
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
i will be blacked out in the shower. come get me. 20 mins.
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
You did what with his pubic hair?
Randomize
