what if I'm pregnant?
smusmorshion
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
today i did the best job ever shaving. like my vagina is PERFECT. plus i straightened my hair for a good hour. if i don't get ass tonight, i'm killing a baby.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
What the hell was that?
Genius. It was sheer genius.
Randomize
