Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
my phone needs a breathalizer
apparently i walked up to the counter, put $30 worth of snacks next to this girl, and went 'uhh i have no money'
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Her brother walked in on her giving me a bj and just laughed. I got a highfive before I left.
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
There are people taking shots out of a turtle shell.
I just want to drink cheap wine and throw my bra at an aging singer songwriter
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
Randomize
