Theres a random in my bed. Omg but at least he's a law student?
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
She was narrarating everything she did.. like while making toast.
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
Randomize
