You drink too much
No, I drink just the right amount - too often.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
you need to do more things constructive for your career. like wearing pants more often.
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
wanna see your best friend chug a bottle of steak sauce?
please go to sleep
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
