Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
That kid who fell through your coffee table is here. In a toga.
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I woke up this morning with a pop tart under my pillow with one bite eaten. Another pop tart was in the floor. No recollection whatsoever. I ate the one under my pillow for breakfast, though.
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I woke up under the kitchen table. Andy is cursing out Joe Exotic's name in between heaves in the bathroom. Jay is trying to sleep w/ a shirt tied over his eyes. Lena and Brad braved the sun to go get bloody mary supplies and food. I'd say the Tiger King drinking game was a success.
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