drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
He said finals are more important than getting stoned on 4/20. I'm proud in a disappointing kinda way
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
CHEMICAL ENGINEER. God my mom would be so proud of me.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
