I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
holy fuck man...it feels like I got beat the fuck out of by death's baseball bat...chimichangas?
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
I'm touching everything in your apartment with my penis.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
I seriously thought Satan had his hand up my asshole and was pulling out my soul. Never. Again.
Randomize
