Crown is evil. It plays hide and seek with my morals
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
When my parents ask if I met any nice guys in California, I'm going to answer, "No, but I have gone home with alot of nice girls". Too much, too soon?
It is completely possible to eat beef jerky sexually.
Whenever I see women with terribly drawn on brows, I just wanna tackle them and redo them and run away. I'll be Brow-lady. The beauty superhero
All I found in my purse this morning was 160 cigarettes and a fistful of confetti.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
He said I have a comfortable vagina. What does that even mean?
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
Just woke up with only a scarf and my uggs on. i hate partying naked in winter.
Randomize
