I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I'm pretty sure my lung is caught on my rib. And I can't feel the left side of my face. Best. Sex. Ever.
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Just showed my drunk fiancé where I got circumcised, she's been crying for twenty minutes.
I may have dislocated my hip getting fucked on the bathroom counter
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
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