Friends are holding an intervention and have no idea this gatorade is half vodka. This is gonna be the best intervention ever.
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Damn you and your Monday night power hours.
It summer and it's getting a lot harder to hide sex bruises from my parents.
First world problems?
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
Randomize
