What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
I JUST SAW A SIGN LANGUAGE CATFIGHT
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
I was just asked if I wanted to struggle snuggle. She's a keeper
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
A homeless man just offered me vodka. The power it took to deny it deserves an award.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
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