Did u know that at any givin time there r 46,948,952 drunk people in the world? Were not alone
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
God dammit, you have a cape and I don't even have a fucking jacket.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
He's got a southern drawl and a lisp. I'm getting mindfucked right now.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are taco bell cups microwave safe? I can't make that judgement right now
just saw a sign in the bar that says "no more naked fridays". Where the fuck was I on these naked fridays?
Trying to roll joints on a seadoo in the middle of a lake on a windy night. -Juststonerthings
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Showing girls my stab wound was not the brilliant idea I thought it was.
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
Randomize