I love how my brain works. It's like being on drugs without the costly upkeep.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
We'll wreck the fuck out of my furniture. How often does one really get the chance to fuck through a table with no negative consequences?
Topless bubble bath with a lesbian is debatable as a gay experience.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
I just watched some guy take a shot of jack Daniels, chase it with a shot of ciroc & then violently rip his pants off. You have to come here.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
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