Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
Umm went to talk to a client ended up seeing his semi erect penis. This is my life.
he told me I talked like a deaf person
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get your damn GED now that you are harvesting a child in her belly
What is a GED?
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
so you 69ed him in the parking lot of your apartment
yah I won't allow him in my apartment
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