I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
Lauren she was gnawing on a dresser. Gnawing. On. A. Dresser.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
Baked goods and tits. Hard to go wrong there.
How is it possible for someone who gets so many dick picks sent to her, to be experiencing such a complete and utter lack of dick IRL.
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Randomize
