If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
Literally 6000 elephants in my backyard.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
I think it would be reallllly cool if you took your best friend to work so she doesnt have to have an awkward cab ride with the driver she drunkenly made out with last night ...
don't worry about my dad. he just hates you because you're liberal, not because we're fucking.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
It's whatever. Titanic is about to be on and we have wine, which is basically crying juice. Leo, Kate, and I will be having a lovely, pants free evening.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
The amount of guys I've turned down for you is disgusting... You better love me.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
