I don't usually arrange sex via text message
I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
That's the last time I do shots near a campfire.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
This is my gift to your gina
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
Randomize
