I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
Yeah, i don't remember peeing. or meeting the girl.
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
i'm so high that for the last 10 minutes i pretened my sock was a mouse, and played with it like it was legit.
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
I have seen you puke and 5 mins later rock my world. So there is hotness there that average people will never see..
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize