Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
Well someone has to be the Christmas slut at the family dinner. I suppose it's my year to fill those shoes.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Slutty summer 2013 has officially started. I did accidentally bite a dick though.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
I feel like I got hit by a truck. And I vaguely remember getting into an argument with a passive aggressive Ron Burgundy in a onesie- grown man, not a baby- about the pronunciation of New Orleans
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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