Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
He sang nursery rhymes to my vagina to get me to have sex with him..
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
She was like the Rudy of blow jobs... SO much effort into it
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
that ring i bought was worth the 6 bucks. wore it to the bar, told some girl i was recently divorced and wasnt ready to take it off. just got laid. THRICE.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Oh god he's like Julia Roberts in pretty woman... And I'm the one who's gotta make a lady out of him.
You'd think the neighbors would be used to grown men coming into my house drunk at 230 am.
An old biker dude just flirted with me at Food City. I enjoyed it. God damn I need to get laid.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Only thing I have going for me is jacking off, weed, and saturdays
If I say I hate myself for it does it make it any better?
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