I'm eating oreos and watching porn. This is your fault.
Big sunglasses are the new paper bag
ya. and they're way easier to confince girls to wear during sex
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
so went to the condom shack today. bought a condom that dresses up your dick in a suit...tomorrow im fucking in style
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
We dropped so many bottles they would only give us plastic cups. We actually drank ourselves back to preschool.
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
Cancun blessed me with a drinking problem
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Randomize
