Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
What if we had a smart house and we could just say "baked" and it would rain donuts?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
I'm sorry your Amazon says buttplugs now
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
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