it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
we were in your room and your mom was singing twinkle twinkle little star in the hallway. so you decided to scream "twinkle? TWINKLE! What Fucking little star?!"
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
Good thing my vagina doesn't have a chronometer on it. I'm sure my fiance would be horrified. Probably 10 miles from this past weekend alone.
Someone made a Christmas song to the Flintstones theme and I'm suing for emotional distress.
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