ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I got eye-fucked by an 80 year old man wearing a cowboy hat while I was singing country. How do you think karaoke went?
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
My 12 o'clock class is an all star team of my ex's hook ups
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
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