I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Dude you took some guys glasses off his face and ran out of the bar
I filled this oven with as much Pizza as I could, and I've been eating out of it for three days.
Just ate the last piece. Refilling the oven.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
Randomize
