I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
That moment when you notice a tiny IR camera pointing at you, in your bed, at the apartment you found on Craigslist.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
I only get hit on by people going through their midlife crisis. Yes, I did purposely write that gender neutral.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
She shaved her vagina in my bed. Good night
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