I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
She's going to get preggers, drop out of school, and end up working at mcdonalds. Great for our mcdoubles habit but bad for her future.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
I ended up changing her contact in my phone to "O Great Potato".
Randomize
