I don't know where I am, but its a Goosebumps novel waiting to happen.
It is 3am. I'm at a pizzeria with my 4 friends. The one to my right is throwing up on herself, the one to my left is crying hysterically by herself, the one in front of me is passed out on the table, and the other is trying to find a taxi and I'm pretty sure a guy is sticking his hand up her skirt. Tourists are taking pictures. Help me.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
EW FUCK GROSS GODDAMMIT I WENT DOWNSTAIRS AND MY GODDAMN BROTHER WAS FINGERING SOME GIRL ON THE FLOOR DOESN'T HE KNOW HE FUCKING LIVES WITH PEOPLE
I'm serenading his dick with my words. I understand how poets get inspiration now.
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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