one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I think she's perpetually drunk
It's all she knows
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's right. I did.
You are the saddest 25 year old gay man I've ever had the displeasure of knowing.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Would it be weird if I congratulated the guy who almost broke up my marriage for working on the marriage equality bill? You know, thanks for fighting for the sanctity of marriage. Weird, right?
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
THERE IS JIZZ ON MY CEILING. HOW THE FUCK IS THERE JIZZ ON MY CEILING
The only good thing about being back at work is supply room boom boom with my office husband
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