My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
Can we just talk about how awesome I am. I just slept with a new guy while listening to the previous guys bands cd.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
My underwear are in the stairs so apparently I did take the dog out.
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
either I'm really high or that last bong rip tasted like christmas
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
Randomize
