I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I thought turtle was a code word for weed until he pulled out a baby turtle from his pocket and said "$20 for a turtle"
BRING THE BAGELS
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Randomize
