The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
which bright sisters idea was it to put semi-formal in the middle of no-shave november?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Aside from the slim chance of pregnancy, I'm gonna call last night a raging success.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Dude I just came exactly at the crescendo of the Catalina wine mixer duet from step brothers.. Advance to next level.
We don't know where he is but he left his pants and what appears to be a tooth here so he's gotta come back sometime
I think you just miss his friendship.
I think it's his ability to give me multiple orgasms.
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.