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This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
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