Texts From Last Night

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  (512): View more from Texas

  This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.

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  (512): This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness. http://tfl.nu/ui3n
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  (870): View more from Arkansas

  I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.

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  (870): I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership. http://tfl.nu/f8ej
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  (732): View more from New Jersey

  i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that.

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  (732): i need to break up with him. i realized this while i was making a mental grocery list while we were having sex. this is not the first time i've done that. http://tfl.nu/vsly
  Replies (26) Good night (1087) Bad night (7814)
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  (480): View more from Arizona

  I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.

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  (480): I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts. http://tfl.nu/t2zp
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  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.

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  (203): Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester. http://tfl.nu/4eoz
  Replies (4) Good night (6002) Bad night (819) Order T-Shirt
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  (302): View more from Delaware

  then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.

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  (302): then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack. http://tfl.nu/fci7
  Replies (14) Good night (5475) Bad night (1942) Order T-Shirt
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?

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  (412): You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy? http://tfl.nu/p3a3
  Replies (9) Good night (3906) Bad night (900)
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  (518): View more from New York

  I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.

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  (518): I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved. http://tfl.nu/p0e0
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  (406): View more from Montana

  stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it

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  (406): stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it http://tfl.nu/40em
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  (571): View more from Virginia

  I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.

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  (571): I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone. http://tfl.nu/igvc
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  (775): View more from Nevada

  True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.

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  (775): True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob. http://tfl.nu/jwe6
  Replies (8) Good night (937) Bad night (372) Order T-Shirt
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  (609): View more from New Jersey

  he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?

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  (609): he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night? http://tfl.nu/gjwh
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  (310): View more from California

  I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase

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  (310): I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase http://tfl.nu/ni6z
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.

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  (303): Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics. http://tfl.nu/jbty
  Replies (7) Good night (875) Bad night (245)
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  (919): View more from North Carolina

  you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"

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  (919): you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches" http://tfl.nu/j1kh
  Replies (2) Good night (716) Bad night (262) Order T-Shirt

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