Your girlfriend is a south jersey whore
So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You're too morally constrained. I firmly believe that you should be less concerned with how young she is and more excited by the fact that she's not jailbait by virtue of a legal technicality.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.