Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
But i guess when you use blowjob as a verb you are entitled to some language allowances
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
Here’s Everything Coming To Netflix This July
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
dude, we need a reunion soon, my vagina needs a deep massage. The kitty is ready to play
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I told a 250 pound football player I would catch him if he jumped into my arms. And that is how I broke my wrist
19 Of The Creepiest (Most Inexplicable) Things People Experienced
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
My husband has seen you naked more times this week than me. I don't consider it a bad thing since you keep bringing the booze to our house. And because my tits are bigger.
Far too many of our conversations end in us talking about sperm
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.