I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
You know that bakery that Sandra Bullock's sister owns?
The one in Montpelier?
yeah, well it doesn't exist anymore. VT's one fucking claim to fame closed.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
If I threw up, how do I still have the same piece of gum in my mouth from the beginning of the night?
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Dude I was walking down the street and threw up in a plastic cvs bag. Tequila wins again.
He shampooed and conditioned his pubes but can't manscape for shit.
He threatened my life and my car because I called you. Are you sure you never slept with him ?
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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