you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
She even gives head with a lisp.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
Randomize
