He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
Oh wow. Was walking and just saw her in the pool, fully clothed, ranting on an alligator float. I guess i should go get her before security gets here.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I have no idea where I am, where my pants are, there is cheese stuck to my ass.. Why do I have your phone?
shot for shot with some guy twice your age to prove Detroit hustles harder then you left with him. We're tracking you
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
When I tell my children how I survived hurricane Sandy I'll probably leave out the threesome
I swear she looks like a sloth.... I'll toss a coin...
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Who's the naked guy asleep in your car?
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
Can I just buy you sex toys as a wedding gift? Bc I’m here for that and you
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
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