i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
shotgunning beer in rite aid bathroom. hurry
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
I'm pretty sure the guy on the dance floor with crutches just smacked me in the butt with one. Do you think he's flirting?
He just kept pissing on the couch as we were yelling at him while he repeatedly told us "its going to be okay".
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