you keep denying me to hang out, should i take a hint?
you keep asking me after midnight, should i take a hint?
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
you shall refer to me as my indian name from now on...running with dumb cunts
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Yo i still have 5 hrs left of work. I should not be this drunk
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
