I DON'T KNOW WHERE WE ARE WE ARE TOO FUCKING ELEVATED.
Me either! Fuck yeah, 12th and something. 12th and hamburger stand.
We just picked up about 540 lbs of women....
there was 4 little kids screaming in high pitched voices at the top of their lungs at the sox game and their mom just leaned over to me and said 'if thats not birth control i dont know what is'
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
i think i will get a tattoo on my butt that says "im not bluffin with my muffin", but i guess if i was serious, i would get it above my c-section scar
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
