i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I just drank til 6am then boned a 32 yr old that looks exactly like ET. Oh god.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Just got a voicemail from a guy referring tp himself "as chest hair guy". If I'm coming home to a intervention I understand.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
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