super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
next time dont tell jokes :) miss bonerkill
Update: Discussing lingerie with my father. He likes sheer black things. Not into the colorful stuff I wear.
how drunk was i? i pretended i was getting a blowjob from a fuckin dolphin in front of my dad. thats how drunk i was.
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
Step 1: drink. 2: drink more. 3: go for it. 4a: success. 4b: drink more. 5. drink. 6. go for other girls. 7. drink more. Sound good?
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Because of my cut offs, my brother is convinced I fucked a girl so hard she forgot to take her pants. Fairly accurate.
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
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