I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
And I'm PMSing. So if I'm not crying, I'm masturbating.
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
You're a five foot adderall and caffeine fueled ball of sexual frustration and suppressed rage. It's only a matter of time before you snap. We're taking bets on when.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
I just fell off a roof. So I'm kinda chillin for a minute.
I can't give advice right now, I have a yeast infection.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
Randomize
