I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
the theme of the baby shower is Nightmare On Prego Street
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I was just too high to be in rapids man. I just screamed for the entire time I was jostling about.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I just figured out how I'm going to tie you to my bed. Hint: I may have to go to the auto parts store before you get here.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Sorry for the milk in the bathroom. I was washing mace out of the one security guys eyes
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
