Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
First rule of pills: If you can't remember what it is, take half.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
How is it that lesbians won't hit on me at a gay club, but they'll hit on me every time I go to Walmart?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
We lost power at midnight which freaked out my roomate and friends. The power came back on 30 minutes later. We are now at the bar having "the rapture came and we were left behind" shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
He just peed in the cab. I repeat..IN.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
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