I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
I rigged together two of my vibrators for more power... I've created a monster.
Just as I was applauding myself for the best wing man award, I realized we are going to have to burn our futon.
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
If I can ever get control of my legs I will be home. Thanks... and again sorry about your bed.
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
