we were playing true or dare on a webcam chat and i was way to drunk ...i ended up having to drink my own piss outta a beer bottle, life couldnt get any worse right now
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Someone just walked into the bar with a pillow
I don't know whether to judge him or give him a high five
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
Randomize
