After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
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