Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
he sent her a picture of his penis to show that he "trusts her" or some shit like that..well she showed it to me, and let me just tell you..it looked like a freaking slug or something. creepiest penis i've ever seen. hands down
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
Just used my cancer results to get a free lap dance. Great day just got better.
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
I swear to go if the response she sends me something along the lines of who the fuck is Mark Hamill I might need to brake up with her.
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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