there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
there's a wings menu taped to my wall. don't tell me i don't have my priorities straight.
he described going down on me as being like 'entering a jungle of deliciousness and fur
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I have to remind myself to breathe. That hungover.
Drove by a guy getting road head, midday on O Street. That could be us, but you won't let me in your pants when you drive.
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
he called me 'mate' and i had to remind him that you dont call people mate who continously make your dick hard
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
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